+++
title = "Hello/Goodbye Lenin"
scribes = ["min.md", "fie.md", "sang.md", "nikhil.md", "valeria.md"]
voices = ["min.md", "fie.md", "sang.md", "nikhil.md", "valeria.md"]
+++

Yesterday in the kitchen with about communist perspectives - she lived through communist times for real, she lived it for real, and when she listen to people who belive in that ideology after they had to go through , she is from eastern germany, saying that communism was a different thing for different people, when i was young in south korea, communism for us was an idea it workd a point of alternative that we could mobilise around - she was aknolwedging that she can not take it as other people take it to communism, but she was ackwoledging that othe rpeople might take it differently.
i felt that when lina and oxana were speaking about the word mir or peace - not sure if this is the exact phrase they used - the bright communist future- and for lina an importnat text was no future - when real socialism collapsed this future also collapsed -
there is a book about the collapse of the soviet union about how even though now we can say there was a clear economic collapse , for people was the most impossible thing that happened within a couple of years...it was from outside of time...

I have the newspaper still about the berlin wall falling...

Alexei Yurchak: "Everything Was Forever, Until It Was No More"

Oxana saying dont put this on facebook... Piece this word we don't use, it gets mocked in Russia. The way that certain ideas like commuinsm risen, having images of the sun on the houses, always confronted, and does it feel. Your supposed to believe the future is bright. 

Dealing with the constant complexity of themes.

Childcare, Bojana was telling how there is now a space for children in PAF. A way nice way to meet Chriz and Sulehka, talk about having children, fantasizing about a spring meeting with children with a program where the themes are organized for children without it just being about entertaining them during the other "real" program.
Now it's more how do we learn from them.

One I can remember was on two occassions perhaps three. The theme of that conversation was about childcare, Bojana was telling me for a long time there was no children and now there is a room at the back which I did not know about. It was very nice to 

We discussed about how to digest and process when overwhelmed by information

Kitchen was a grounding place for the collective like doing something banal, peeling potatoes doing dishes, etc, which is not overly appreciated or exciting. I felt these activies were important.
Last years I had the need for individual time, and I could have come when I had desires and ambitions for the collective.

Speculative realism

I have had a lot of conversations about being overwhelmed by information and also not understanding and what do you kind of hook onto. 

I had many thoughts but not so graspable though. Very personal thoughts come up, not really personal but of course comes from the encounters, but mostly from the conversations. The thoughts that came up from the conversations were more personal. So maybe if its included in the conversation, I have been helping a lot in the kitchen (thank you), labours that are banal or boring like cleaning potatoes or kitchen. Things that are less exciting like making a food but feels like an achievement. Like peeling the potatoes. Yes we talked while peeling, I forget who it was Joshua, I forget who it was and what it was directly connected. 

Was it good support or about trauma and…?

It was good. I was quite into collective life and the last few years I wanted some individuality and to be alone. I guess it was living with ex partner that was quite challenging and wanting to be alone. And to be here with this enthusiasm and energy to be here and be again in a collective. It was an emotional encounter and so on. It was more personal I think, what we experience here.

… About this um. I didn’t think actually of communism but the way to be together in this word. Talking about the ideology of the society in which we want to be. 

I was quite surprised that we begin with the topic of communism now here.

There was a lot of reference and discussion on socialist and socialist ideas here. I am also a bit curious about if Paf is an undeclared socialist or communist group of people. In Korea we have also leftists but the socialist ideal is also a bit off the table. To talk about socialist ideals would also be too out of the way.
